Head Cold and Ramen
by Samurai101
Summary: Naruto is sick, and Iruka treats his cell to ramen. Cold induced humor soon follows, and leaves Kakashi wondering......


**A/N:Okay, this makes no sense, and is just for fun. I wrote it when I was sick with a cold, and someone else needed to suffer with me. Sorry for the OOCness in some people. Gomen...**

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"Guuuuuh," Naruto oozed across the counter, snorting and sniffing. "Eew, that's gross Naruto," Sakura whined, scooting farther away from the offensive boy. "What's the matter with you anyway? You sound like a pug dog"

"Iwuka-sensei gabe me 'is cob," Naruto rasped, his head listing to the right. "I camd breed through by dose, an my throat feels libe crab." Sasuke watched with a raised eyebrow as Naruto sniffed, and rubbed his nose.

"Guhg." Sakura stared in mixed revulsion and pity.

"Which is why you should eat something hot," Iruka said brightly, plopping down suddenly in the seat beside Naruto. "Ramen would do the trick just fine"

"I bwoke, I boud cob stuff wiff the last of my money," Naruto croaked, looking pitifully at his sensei. "Ibs your cold"

"I'm glad it's finally moved on, I got heck from the other Jounin for letting a cold take me out of commission," Iruka chuckled, he glanced down the table, and smile at Sakura and Sasuke. "How about you two, you want some ramen"

"Um, actually we're waiting for Kakashi-sensei to get here," Sakura said, and then mumbled in an undertone:'He's late as always, jerk'

"He can pay for his own," Iruka grinned, and Sakura nodded. She was hungry. Her diet could take a break if Iruka was going to pay for the ramen. Sasuke gave Iruka a questionable look, but his lips twitched sightly.

"Derk, you bo 'eerful," Naruto grumbled, punching his teacher in the should limply.

Iruka chuckled, and mussed Naruto's hair happily. "Call it an after cold high nit-wit." Naruto growled, and the snorted.

"Eeeeew..." Wincing Sakura produced a hankercheif, and tentively held it out to Naruto. Naruto took it, and noisily blew his nose. Iruka shook his head, and placed on order for four bowls of ramen. He didn't bother to ask Naruto what he wanted, and let Sakura and Sasuke make their own choices. As soon as the ramen was put in front of his Naruto began scarfing it down, only to choke, and spit out a mouthful.

"Gag! Uuf!" Naruto gasped, and glared as Sasuke smothered a snicker, and Iruka chuckled.

"You don't have a nose to breath through right now, take it slow Naruto," Iruka warned, snapping his chopsticks at the boy. "And why are you even here? You're gonna get your entire cell sick"

"Kakashi-sensai saib to be here, and I'm ere." Naruto sneezed into the hankercheif, and Sakura hastily lost any want for having it back. Naruto snot was not something she wanted anywhere near her. SHh also didn't want to catch Naruto's cold. She scooted over gain, but stopped because she didn't want to be sitting in Sasuke's lap. Not that she wouldn't mind, but.

Iruka sighed. "You're making me look bad. I couldn't haul my butt out of bed while I was sick, and you're hear in all your snotty glory to carry out missions"

"Yeah, I can sneeze on my enemy's and incompasitate them," Naruto snorted, and began eating his ramen again. He mumbled in coherently into his mouthful, but Iruka chuckled.  
Sakura shuddered at the very thought of Naruto sneezing on anyone. "If that didn't stop some one nothing would. You could start a new fighting style-Flying booger Style." Sasuke snorted, and began choking on his ramen. Everyone watched as the cool-as-a-block-of-ice ninja choked in mirth on his ramen, and grew amazingly red in the face. Several by-standers stopped and watched as Sasuke gained back his breath, and continued eating as if nothing had happened, even if his cheeks were still pink, and his lips were twitching into a smile.

"It woob kib Sasuke's budd," Naruto chuckled grinning as he slurped away more of his ramen. Iruka just watched, his eyebrows long since climbed as high as they could go.

"You wish," Sasuke answered, still fighting down a grin.

"Aw, come on Sasuke, if some one sneezed on you wouldn't you be grossed out?" Sakkura asked, having the sinking feeling that Sasuke's answer would be suitably ninja like and not at all silly. He wasn't supposed to take the question seriously.  
Sasuke tapped his chopsticks on his bowl. "No, not at all."

"Ha! Yeah wibe! My buders woud bead dou!" Naruto pumped a fist into the air, then winced. "Ow, by heab"

"Just get lots of rest, and drink lost of fluids and you'll get over it eventually." Iruka promised mirthfully.

"Yeb Mom," Naruto sneezed again. "Agh, by brain ib trying to cob out by node"

"It's small enough to," Sasuke muttered only loud enough for Sakura to hear. Sakura snorted, and choked as her ramen went up her nose. She continued choking in a very unladylike manner as everyone else stared at her.

"Gugh, 'ou habe noobles cobing out you dose!" Naruto cackled, rubbed his left temple. Sakura turned quickly red, and wished Sasuke were not sitting next to her.

"What's this? My cell has decided to eat lunch without me?" Kakashi said suddenly. Sakura jumped, snorting out the offensive noodle, and Naruto jumped, then groaned, holding his head. The three cell members turned around, and Iruka waved his chopsticks at Kakashi. Kakashi watched them, and then Naruto sneezed. All over Kakashi's hand. It was too much for Sakura to take.

She burst into half-smothered chuckles, and heard Sasuke snort in amusement. Naruto merely blew his nose, slightly oblivious in his cold demented state, Iruka was smothering chortles as well. Kakashi stared at his hand, his visible eye twitching as he looked at his snot covered hand. He looked at Naruto and his eye narrowed. He sighed, and produced something to wipe his hand clean.

"I think, Naruto, your condition is too severe to operate competently on a mission, and, as the cell leader, I must send you back home while you recover to ensure your safety, and your call mate safety." Kakashi drawled easily, as if he were not wiping Naruto's snot from his hand. Iruka continue choking on his laughter as Naruto gulped the last of his ramen, and staggered off, sneezing as he walked into the street. People jumped way from his as he continued his way down the street, and for once it wasn't because he had a demon in his belly button.

"You two," Kakshi pointed to Sakura, who was wiping tears from her face, and Sasuke, who was pretending to be composed. "can go home for today"  
The two Genin wandered off, and Iruka chuckled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow, and Iruka smothered his laughs.

"Sorry Kakashi, but it's not every day I get to see you caught of guard by a Genin like that," Iruka explained. "And-you-" Iruka dissolved into helpless laughter that Kakshi simply couldn't understand. Was being sneezed on that funny? He heard Iruka chortle something about 'Flying boogers', and decided there must have been something very, very strange in the ramen.


End file.
